A Mother's Thoughts (Celebration of Jim's Life)

I want to thank everyone for coming today. I thank all those who have supported us through this loss and especially all your prayers. I can feel your prayers and that is what helps keep me going. I know that with the help of God my family and I will get through this tragedy in our life.

Jim had a lot of friends and family that loved him. I don't think we will ever really know why he felt he had to end his life. I do know that depression can cause people to do things without thinking them through.

Those people that have known us for a while know that this was not the first time Jim tried to end his life. Back in December of 1998 we spent time in the hospital watching him die. That`s where I met Pastor Robbins. He was the Chaplain for the Sheriff's office and he came to give us support. He spent time praying with us and comforting us. God chose to answer those prayers by bringing Jim back to us.

Well, as you know, since that time Jim came to love the Lord and accept the free gift of salvation by accepting Jesus as his Lord and Savior. He knew he had the assurance that he was forgiven and would have eternal life in heaven. As long as he was in fellowship with the Lord and read the bible he seemed happy. He gave up drugs, alcohol and smoking. He witnessed to friends, family and even strangers about the Lord. He wanted all his friends and family to know how they could have the free gift he had. He wanted them to be saved.

So what happened to Jim? When Jim got out of fellowship with God and stopped fellowshipping with other Christians some of the old habits came back. The depression came back. I didn't realize how bad it was because he didn't stay around us much the last few months.

Instead of looking to God for the answers he looked at how drugs made him feel. They helped him forget. Satan took advantage of this situation and without the armor of God Jim couldn't fight the depression. Does that mean that Jim didn't have faith in God? No. What he did was against God's laws but Jim knew God was a forgiving God. Jim knew from his faith that once you accept Christ as your Lord and Savior you were saved for eternity. We will see Jim again when we get to heaven because he was a Christian.

Those of you that don't know the peace that comes from knowing the Lord are missing out on the most wonderful free gift of a lifetime. Those who are Christians and are out of fellowship with the Lord need to come back to Him. He is always there waiting for us to ask for His help.

I will truly miss my son. He gave the most wonderful bear hugs a mother could ask for. I loved to see his face light up when he was happy. He loved his family and friends very much. In God's timing I will see him again.